When Something is Lost
by Abreana
Summary: Hermione goes to see her parents, ready to send them away, and instead finds something beyond her worst nightmares. Hermione's trying to deal with the trauma but soon everything will begin to way down on her. she just wants revenge. Hint HG/GW major HG/SS
1. Chapter 1

**First Harry potter story from my folder of about seven or eight. Will have roughly more than 10 chapters when i get round to updating, but im in year 11 so will have coursework and Revision for exams soon soo i apologise in advance for slow updates. **

**Please enjoy this, rated M for the gore factor that shall be in it, possibly smut and other stuffs that require M rating. **

**Disclaimer- I dont own this, the amazing J.K Rowling does, i shall not be making any money from this i shall be making happiness for myself with reviews from people (oh look theres my ulterior motive :) Woops, wondered where that had got to )  
**

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All she could see was blood. It was splattered everywhere. On the walls, the worktops, the furniture. Her eyes found the body of her mother first. Clothes torn lying in a pool of her own blood, her eyes wide open staring blankly into space. The next she saw was her father, with almost the same wounds, he was splayed out half across the sofa. The smell was atrocious but Hermione barely noticed that. She walked numbly to where her mother lay discarded on the floor, like a rag doll, and knelt down next to her.

It was almost like an out-of-body experience what happened next. Her had reached out almost of its own accord but she remembered telling her body to do it. She felt her mothers cheek and the dried blood sometimes gave way to cold smooth skin as she ran her fingers across her face to her eyes, as she slid them gently shut with her fingers. She then crawled on her hands and knees to where her father lay and looked at his open eyes staring blankly at the ceiling. Silent tears ran down her face and as she reached out she broke into a loud sob. And her hand fell back to her lap. Her shaking hands reached for her wand and she pulled it out of her pocket. She closed her eyes then and thought of her happiest moments trying to ignore the rancid smell in the air.

"Expecto Patronum" she muttered when she opened her eyes an otter made purely of light was floating in mid air. "Go to the headquarters. Tell them I need help" the otter then opened its jaws as if asking what it should say. "Help me. Please" her voice cracked in a sob as the otter sped away and she dropped her wand to the ground, hoping it made it all the way. Her hands found her way to her fathers face and she caressed it silently wishing for him to come back. When her silent pleas didn't work she began to ask "please come back dad. Daddy? Daddy please? Please come back?". She heard the pop of apparition but it didn't fully register until Kingsley, Sirius, Mr Weasley, Tonks, Remus and Professor Snape barged into her living room wand at the ready. They all froze and took in the scene before them. "Daddy?" she sobbed again. This sent them all into action. Sirius rushed to her side and knelt next to her.

"Hermione" he called softly.

"They cant be gone" she whispered. "They cant be" her voice got louder.

"Hermione" he said again. "they are" he stood and tried to take her with him.

"No" she screamed hysterically. "They cant be" Sirius hauled her up with his arms under her armpits. She began to fight him the hysteria rising in her voice as she screamed "get off me. They cant be gone"

"Get her out of here" Ordered Kingsley.

"Remus. Help" Sirius called. Together they lifted her and managed to keep a relative hold on her out into the hallway and by the front door. Once outside she tried to get away and run back inside the house, but Sirius caught her around the waist and turned on his heel apparating them onto the front doorstep of headquarters and hustled her inside.

"No!" she screamed hysterically. Bringing the people waiting for them in the kitchen out into the hall. She turned on Sirius and began to beat at him. "Take me back!" she screamed. "Take me Back!". he caught her wrists and she collapsed against his chest. "Take me back. Please take me back" she muttered over and over again.

He let go of her hands and they fell limply against his chest as he wrapped his arms around her shaking form as she sobbed against his chest and her blood covered hands clenched into his shirt. "I'm so sorry" he whispered to her.

"Remus what happened?" asked an obviously confused Molly.

"Her Parents" he stated. Molly gasped and covered her mouth with her hands. "by the looks of it tortured and then they had their throat slit". Hearing this news stated so matter-of-factly Hermione whimpered in Sirius' arms and her hands clenched more tightly onto his shirt. She flinched when molly put her hand on her back. Ginny came up beside her mother and touched her hands to Hermione's. She slowly loosened each finger from Sirius' shirt and let Hermione's hands hold onto her own instead. Ginny then lead Hermione to the stairs and walked her up them talking soothingly to her the whole time. Molly followed them up to the second floor and along to Hermione's room. Instead of bathing her they just scrubbed her hands and arms clean with warm water. They removed all of her clothes and dressed her again into a pair of pyjama bottoms and a tank top. Meanwhile Hermione said nothing, allowing herself to be treated in this way. They then tucked her into her bed. Ginny turned on the bedside lamp as her mother turned of the main light in the room then she sat next to Hermione on the edge of the bed and took her hand. Hermione's eyes turned to Ginny's.

"I'll be back in a bit. I'll get you something to drink. Do you want anything to eat?" at the slight shake of her head she got up and left with Molly.

Hermione's eyes searched the room. She then settled looking at one direct spot on her bedroom wall. She tried not to think about what she had seen but it proved to be tiring and very soon her eyes slid shut and instead of thinking on it, she had nightmares about it.

Ginny stormed into the kitchen downstairs "I'm going to fucking kill whoever done this!"

"Join the club Miss Weasley" said Kingsley. He then turned to Molly. "The Aurors are there and are cleaning up as we speak." Molly sighed in relief. She had only ever met the Grangers twice but they had been so nice.

"What are we going to do with her? she cant go back to the house." asked Harry.

"She'll stay here" said Snape "That way she will always have someone to keep an eye on her."

"So?" asked Ron, to curious for his own good "What actually happened to them?"

Kingsley looked sharply at Ron and said "It _seems_ to us that they were tortured by hand and the Cruciatus curse. Then they died from blood loss as there were multiple neck wounds around the jugular, all inflicted by blades." at that moment Tonks walked in. her hair was red, showing that she was angry. She sat down at the table across from Kingsley.

"The Aurors took the bodies to St Mungo's and they are going to see if the can determine the exacts of what happened then they will give the information to us"

Molly turned to Snape as Tonks gave her report "Do you have any dreamless sleep Severus? I've run out and I don't want her to have nightmares." he nodded and said he would retrieve it shortly. Ginny moved slowly around the kitchen gathering a glass and filling it with water for Hermione. Just then a shrill scream echoed through the large house. Ginny dropped the glass of water and it smashed to the floor as she sprinted to the stairs, Sirius just in front of her and Snape close on her heels. They took the stairs two at a time and burst into her room to see her covered in sweat shivering and clutching at the blankets. Sirius and Ginny rushed to her side and tried to comfort her. They got her too release the blankets as Snape barged back into the room through the crowd of people gathered at her door. Harry and Ron had come to sit on the bed next to her and Hermione had transferred her death grip on the blankets to around Harry's waist. Her face resting on his chest as he stroked his fingers through her hair in a soothing gesture.

When Snape offered her the vial of dreamless sleep she refused to even notice it was there. Instead he gave it to Ginny who gently grabbed hold of her chin and poured the potion down her throat making sure she swallowed. When her body fell limp Sirius helped Harry lay her back down on her bed and Ginny covered her with the blankets. Ginny and Sirius got up of the bed but Harry and Ron stayed. Ginny grabbed Harry's arm and pulled on it gently indicating that he should leave her and she also indicated for Ron to move as well. They both hesitated at the door both unwilling to leave their best friend, but walked down the stairs after a moment of thought.

As they were coming down the stairs Remus, who had gone back to the house after he had helped Sirius bring Hermione back, walked in and nodded to them as he walked past them to the kitchen. Harry, Ron and Ginny followed him into the kitchen and sat down at the table. Mrs Weasley gave them all hot drinks and after a few minutes silence from the whole room Harry announced "I've never seen her like that before. She was soo…" he tried to search for a word to describe it but came up with none and slumped on the table.

Sirius put his hand on Harry's back and gave him a comforting pat. "just give her time. that's all she needs".

At that moment Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall walked into the kitchen. Dumbledore sat next to Kingsley and they started conversing in whispers. They kept glancing at Harry and Ron, and Ron got the message that they didn't want them there. He stood and said to Harry "I'm going to go upstairs to see how Hermione is. You coming?". Harry nodded and got up out of his chair and followed Ron out of the room as they shut the door they heard Dumbledore say.

"Tell me everything."

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'Darkness. It isn't fully darkness. Its more like blackness. And black is a colour isn't it? Or is it a shade? But then again blackness cant be solid. Neither can darkness. But what about lightness. Its more like whiteness but it depends on the colour of the light. But dreams are mixture of light and darkness. So it seems to be that you cant have one without the other. You'll find that if you look into white light you will see darkness of some degree making it not solid. And vice versa with Darkness. It isn't fully darkness. Its more like blackness. And black…' these thought continued on and on and on in Hermione's head instead of the dreams. They went round and round in circles. Never starting never ending. Until she woke. 'so much for dreamless sleep' she thought, remembering what she had been thinking.

She felt two sources of heat around her before she opened her eyes. Both of them were laying next to her. When she opened her eyes she tilted her head to the side and saw Harry sprawled across one part of her double bed. She tilted her head the other way and saw Ron but he was taking up less space than Harry. And then the memories of the night before flooded back to her again and she sobbed once quietly not wanting to wake the boys.

Hermione wiggled out of the duvet and crawled to the end of the bed doing her best not to disturb Harry and Ron. She climbed of the bed and sat down cross-legged on the chair that sat by the door. As the thoughts she had been out of sink with ever since taking the potion came rushing back tears silently fell down her face

When Ron snored violently and she was shaken out of her reverie, she decided it was time to go downstairs. She got up and opened the door silently her bare feet padded along the hallway and down the stairs. The kitchen was empty when she entered and she set about making herself a drink, then silently fled to the library, leaving the kitchen like no one had entered.

When she entered the library she walked to the darkest corner in the room and sat down. She pulled a random book of the self by her head and placed it on her lap, just for comfort.

"I thought I might find you in here" Hermione looked up into the eyes of Sirius Black.

"hello" she whispered meekly. He sat down next to her on the floor and put his arm around her shoulders.

"how are you?" he asked as she leaned into him.

"To be honest. I don't know. I'm so confused. I feel angry, guilty, sad, exhausted, drained and most of all vengeful. I'm so scared Sirius" she whispered "I don't know what to do. I feel like I'm going to burst, I'm so unstable"

"well first of all I think we need to get some food in you. But I must warn you, you will probably getting a lot of hugs today. People just want you to feel safe. At the moment any of them would go out of their way to get something for you."

"even Professor Snape?" she asked snorting lightly.

"Yes. I think he would. You may not believe it little one, and neither do I sometimes, but that man does have a heart."

"you better not let him hear you say that or he may hex you into next week" she laughed very weakly.

"come on" he said laughing to as he stood up "lets go face molly". her face fell at the prospect of being bombarded by people. "don't worry" he said soothingly "if they get to clingy just tell them to bugger off". he then took her arm helping her to her feet and pulled her out of the library, down the stairs and into the kitchen.

"just leave her be mum" they heard Ginny saying as they entered. "she wont want to be pitied just to be treated like normal"

"about the normal part" Hermione said suddenly interrupting the two "I wouldn't object to a few extra hugs".

"Oh good" Ginny said "your awake"

Just then Fred and George swept into the room saw Hermione and swept her up into a hug.

"heard you saying you good do with more hugs" said Fred

"we can do that. Its what were best at" input George

"I thought we were best at making stuff?"

"ok then. It comes close second"

Hermione rested her head on Fred's shoulder "well at least I can rely on somebody for hugs"

Ginny barged her way through her brothers and hugged Hermione close "how are you feeling?" she asked.

"I'd feel better if I knew everyone wasn't going to pity me today"

"sorry" Ginny muttered sheepishly "what do you want to do today?"

"can we go see my grandparents? Or is that not allowed?"

"I'll ask around" Ginny said with determination. Hermione at that moment was so very glad to have Ginny as a friend, for she knew that she would do everything in her power to get what Hermione needed. "in fact" she said "here comes Kingsley now. I'll go ask" and with that she sped of down the hallway towards the tall man.

Hermione loved her best friend.

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**Soooo. Please tell me what you think. i know the reaction Hermione is giving is that for one who has just lost her parents but its still sinking in. Plus i dont do suicidal Hermione, unless it actually has good plot to it :)**

**Please no flames, Flames will be ignored and be used to toast my marshmallows. Ta :)  
**


	2. Not A New Chapter Sorry

Hey everyone, I am sorry I haven't updated recently and I wont be for a while. I've recently been suffering from really bad headaches, almost migraines but not with the whole sick part (ew). I've been to the doctors and they have given me painkillers that make me feel like I'm drunk, which is allowing me to be typing to you now. The doctor thinks I could be anaemic or diabetic so I have to go for a blood test on Tuesday to find out, so I wont be able to upload till Friday after I go to my appointment on Friday. I'm really sorry. But just because I cant type doesn't mean I've given up on my stories. At the moment I'm doing a lot of writing by hand so I can type it all up when I'm better.

I truly am sorry.

Abreana.


	3. Chapter 2

**Hi everyone. sorry for the long wait for this. (shh i'm not supposed to be on my laptop). my headaches still havent gone (GOD DAMMIT!) and the doctors couldnt find anything. am going to the hospital. but guess what? whilst i've been off trying to get better i've been doing alot of writing by hand. **

**im not too happy with this chapter and im not really sure were to go with this story. so suggestions would be welcomed :D  
**

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Hermione wondered from the busy kitchen back to her room where the boys were still asleep in her bed. She smiled sadly, as tears filled her eyes. She began to wish she hadn't left the busy kitchen with so much to distract her from last night, but she didn't want to be pitied either. She sat quietly on the floor at the end of the double bed and drew her legs up to her chest and tried to suppress the sobs. She wrapped her arms around her legs as her body began to shake and tears streamed down her face.

Harry awoke to hear muffled sobs, he sat up slightly and saw Hermione's hair over the edge of the bed. He climbed out of the bed and walked to her. He sat on the floor next to her and put his arm around her shoulders.

"It's all my fault" she whispered, barely loud enough for him to hear.

"Don't you dare blame yourself" he said harshly. "how could you be the one to blame?" he asked.

"I don't know" she muttered weakly.

"That's right. You don't know why and you don't know who, and we will find out who it was, so don't you continue blaming yourself. We'll find who did it and you can blame them wholeheartedly. But don't continue to wallow in self loathing." she nodded and then burst into tears again. She turned to Harry and wrapped her arms around his chest as he stroked her hair waiting for her to calm down.

When Ginny walked in they were still on the floor and Ron had joined them. Hermione let a watery laugh at something Ron had said then she promptly fell quiet again "My dad used to tell me that joke" she mumbled quietly.

Ron's face fell at having made her sad again "I'm sorry" he told her.

"Don't worry about it" she said giving him a small and somewhat false smile.

Ginny walked over to them and sat down in front of them, "Kingsley, said we could go, he checked with Dumbledore as well before he gave us permission."

"Um, were are we going" asked Ron

"My Grandparents" Hermione told him.

"Yeah, the only downside is that if you want to go now Snape is the only one with some free time to take us, unless you want to wait until tomorrow."

"I don't mind." she said quietly "I want to see them today"

"Then we'll come with you. Not because its Snape taking you, we know we can trust him after we found out about his double role and not killing Dumbledore and other stuff. Just for moral support." only a small part of the order (those living in the house and McGonagall) had been let in on the fact that Dumbledore wasn't dead. At the moment Kingsley was the face of the order but all things went through Dumbledore before decisions were made. Snape made sure he wasn't around when the whole order was in the house for meetings.

"lets get ready then" said Ginny "I'll go let Kingsley and the professor know" she got up from where she was on the floor and left the rest of them to sort themselves out. The boys then stood up pulling Hermione with them, then left her to get dressed on her own. She put on a pair of jeans and pulled a hoody on over her pyjama top. She slipped on her boots and used her wand to charm the laces up, also to clean her teeth and put her hair up in a braid.

When she was walking down stairs to meet Ginny and the boys in the kitchen she encountered the painting of Mrs Black.

At the sound of footsteps walking past her painting Mrs Black went into a rage her curtains flying open as she screamed and shouted. This did not faze Hermione until she made a comment about muggles. "FILTHY MUGGLES THEY ALL DESERVE TO BE KILLED!"

"you know what actually shut the hell up!" she shouted at the painting. The yelling of the painting had already drawn the attention of most of the house and she had no doubt that if she got in an argument with Mrs Black the whole house would witness it. "I Have Had Enough of you Badmouthing People you have no Idea about. Your just a bigoted bitch who needs to learn to see past the frame of her painting!"

"why… you? Your nothing but a mudblood. What do you know?"

Hermione drew her wand at the painting "why you stupid girl you cant get rid of me it's a permanent sticking charm" she said smugly.

"whoever said anything about removing you from the wall?" she cast a cutting hex at the wall and watched it cut itself through the wall effectively separating the painting and wall. She then waved at her before vanishing the portrait.

Sirius was the first to make any movement after her little display. He moved up to her and put his arm around her shoulder and looked at the whole in his wall.

"I wonder what we can put there to cover up that nasty hole?" he asked. "I've been wanting to get rid of her for ages. Thank you for taking her off my 'to do' list."

"your mother was on your 'to do' list?" she asked coyly.

"Eww. Not that one. Get your mind out of the gutter Granger" he smiled at her. He then took out his wand and pointed it at the wall and the hole filled itself in. Harry also came up behind her.

"What the hell did she say to get you hat annoyed?"

"The usual crap that spews" she told him. "just I was on my final nerve and she really pissed me off"

"There's no need to justify yourself" Harry told her "someone else would have done it in time". she nodded and let him take her and lead her away from the commotion to meet Ginny and Ron who had moved back to the Kitchen. They met them there and not two seconds later Snape walked in wearing muggle clothing. A pair of cotton trousers, black obviously and a grey jumper. 'doesn't scrub up to bad' Hermione thought. 'He could easily be mistaken for a muggle professor at a university somewhere.'

"Admirable display miss Granger" he commented snidely. She could have sworn a small smile had graced his lips, but was soon covered up by his usual scowl. "now if you don't mind, if we could leave soon. I don't want to be back late as there is an order meeting and I would prefer to return you before they turn up." in other words he was basically saying he didn't want to get caught.

"How are we getting there sir?" asked Ginny.

"Miss Granger is going to make us a portkey, as she know the area best she can make it transport us to a place of little activity". He placed a silver bracelet on the table in front of them and gestured for Hermione to do what needed to be done.

She pulled out her wand and pointed it at the bracelet "Portus" she muttered picturing in her head a place in the park that was usually deserted this time of the year. When she was finished she looked up at the professor to find him watching her with what she thought was mild curiosity. Then his eyes closed off and he told everyone to step out the front door. When they did everyone took hold of the Portkey and Hermione's world was reduced to spinning colours.

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**So there you go. i know its not the longest chapter but i had to edit and take out all the bits i wasnt happy with. **

**Suggestions for where this story should go are welcome. and reviews too (they make me feel better)**

**Abreana xx  
**


	4. Chapter 3

**I am sooo sorry about the delay. i had no idea where to go with this and it took me ages to get it to something i remotely liked. **

**Thankyou to the ONE reviewer for the last chapter _LauraFlowi _i really apreciated it. made my day when i read that :) **

**and for the rest of you please review. it does make my day and it also gives me pointer on where this story could go and what i should do to improve. **

**anyway. read & review. **

**(oh and i have the most of the next chapter written give me two days max to get it written and up on the site)  
**

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When the world righted itself again Hermione found herself in the park a few streets away from her grandparents house. It also wasn't far from her parents. Her eyes welled up as she looked down the road she would take if visiting her parents. Ginny noticed first and came up and took her hand and pulled her away in the opposite direction.

"Does it get better?" Hermione asked Ginny.

"I don't know. I only ever lost my uncles and that was before I was born. I'm not the right person to be asking." Hermione just nodded and tried to pull herself and her emotions together.

"Which way Miss Granger?" asked Professor Snape.

"This way" she said and led them away from the park and into a small housing estate. She led them down a small cul-de-sac and through an alleyway at the end. Glancing behind her she saw that her small group of protectors all had their wands drawn discretely, obviously, and that they were all alert as if they expected danger to pop up at any moment. She felt silently for her wand on the arm strap under her sleeve to reassure herself as she stepped from the alley.

They had entered an even smaller cul-de-sac home to only six houses all of an average size. They were all detached houses that had trimmed front gardens and all looked extremely cared for. She walked to the front gate of he second house on the right and entered the gate holding it open for the group behind her.

She stepped up to the front door and rang the doorbell. Immediately a dog started barking and a voice could be heard telling it to shut up. A lock was heard unclick in and the door was opened by a rather large man with greying hair and the slight stubble of a beard.

Hermione instantly flew into the arms of her Granddad and was hugged back equally as hard. She eventually let go when Harry cleared his throat at the fact they were still standing in someone else's doorway.

"Oh sorry" she said and her grandfather ushered them all into the large hallway. When everyone was in she began to introduce people. "Granddad this is Harry Potter, Ron and Ginny Weasley and Professor Snape. Everyone this is my Granddad, Jonathon Granger." she then turned back to her Granddad and asked "Have you heard?" he nodded solemnly "is Nan in?"

"Yeah, she didn't go to work. She's absolutely devastated. We had this pink haired woman and a red haired bloke come round and explain to us. She got all uptight, like she does, when they asked if we knew what you were. She managed to hold the tears until they had left though. You know how she feels 'bout stuff like that."

Hermione nodded and slipped of her shoes and walked further into the house, leaving her Granddad and her friends to, well, to do whatever it is when one's granddaughter brings round her magical friends and the man charged to protect them.

She found her Nan in the kitchen scrubbing the sides with cleaning solution. He hair was a mess and it looked like she had cried a long while as her eyes were red rimmed.

"Hey Nana" she said as she entered. She hadn't called her Nan 'Nana' since she was little, but it just seemed right to at this moment.

"Oh Hermione, dear. How have you been? You look awfully tired, have you been sleeping well? How has school been? We haven't seen you in so long" her Nan started firing questions at her left, right and centre. They would all seem quite stupid things to ask someone who had just lost her parents, but then again her Nan didn't know how to cope with anything like this and was probably going for being as normal as possible. "Lovely people they were, your granddad didn't like them much but mind you he doesn't really like strangers."

"Hey Nana, slow down." Hermione stopped her Nan mid tirade. "you need to stop and slow down. Rest Nana you've probably cleaned this side so many times already today." she took her Nan's hand and led her into the living room where her granddad and her "protectors" had congregated to. Currently her grandparent's dog was butting his head into Ginny's legs until she bent down to stroke his head. Harry and Ron were looking like they felt rather awkward sitting on her grandparent's sofa. And Professor Snape just looked downright uncomfortable standing in the corner of the room, arms crossed, wand drawn as if he expected the dog to turn round and become a death eater.

"Oh you didn't tell me you bought friends Hermione dear, let me go and make tea and .." she was cut off by Hermione pushing her into her chair.

"You'll do no such thing Nana. You shall sit here and you shall calm yourself before you end up hurting yourself. You always try to do so much, for your own benefit or others, I don't know. But you'll do no one good by hurting yourself." a few tears slid silent down Hermione's cheek and she wiped them away with a furious hand. "Me and granddad will sort everyone out. Just stop stressing."

And if the room was tense a minute ago, it just got worse.

Hermione stood up, and her Nan began muttering to herself about things she had to do, Hermione just shook her head.

"I need some air" she said and left the room to go and stand in the back garden.

She had been gone for about five minutes before anyone moved, Ginny, Harry and Ron were starting to wish they hadn't come for all the tense vibes in the room, then they felt guilty for wishing they weren't there for Hermione.

Professor Snape pushed himself away from the wall he was leaning on and made to follow Hermione.

"Professor?" asked Ginny

"She's had her time, Miss Weasley. We don't know who could be lurking around"

Ginny nodded and cast her eyes to the ground.

Snape nodded curtly and left the room. He found Miss Granger standing in the middle of the patio staring at the sky.

She only glanced sideways when she heard his footsteps stop next to her. "Have you ever lost someone?" she whispered, barely loud enough for him to hear.

He considered before answering "Yes. Too many people."

"I wont ask who. That's a bit personal. You probably wouldn't tell me anyway"

"You never know until you try Miss Granger." she turned to look at him sharply and he just smirked at her.

"Fine then sir. Who have you lost?" she asked softly.

It was his turn to look at the sky as he tried not to lose himself in memories. "My Mother, and many friends. Too many."

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"You obviously know Hermione quite well" the voice of Jonathon Granger broke the silence in the room that Professor Snape had just exited.

"Of course" Said Harry "We've practically lived together for the last seven years."

"How is she taking it?" asked her grandmother, the first thing she had said not related to cleaning or providing hospitality.

"I don't know really." Said Ginny "She's had nightmares, but when she's been awake its like none of it has really got to her yet"

"And how did they really die?"

"what?" Harry asked

"We thought someone had told you."

"Of course someone told us. But it damn well wasn't the truth. They fed us some story about a gas leak that poisoned them. But with the way Hermione's acting it has to be more than that."

"I'm not sure if we can…" stuttered Ron

"Yeah. You'll have to ask Professor Snape" covered Ginny quickly "we haven't been given the whole story either, I think its only Hermione who knows what happened fully."

Mr Granger looked over her critically as if trying to find traces of her lie. Ginny inwardly cringed hoping that it didn't show on her face, and outwardly breathed a small sigh of relief when he nodded slightly at her.

"I'm going to go check on Hermione" said Harry. He rushed from the room to find Hermione and the Professor standing silently in the middle of the garden.

"Hermione?" he called. She turned to him and smiled slightly, but it fell of her face when she saw the look of concern across his face.

"What is it Harry?" she asked.

"Your grandparents don't know what properly happened to your parents. They were told it was some sort of gas leak that poisoned them"

"Oh" Hermione's face was a cloud of shock. She had thought that at least they had been told some semblance of the truth.

"well then. Um we should probably stick to the same story, and leave soon. I don't think I could keep it from them."

They went back inside and Hermione told everyone that they had to be leaving soon. Ron, not wanting to be rude, held in his sigh of relief.

They left not soon after and made their way back to the park where they apparated back to Grimauld Place. Hermione entered the house a disappeared upstairs to her room.

When Harry made to follow her Ginny pulled him back "leave her." she said "She needs time to adjust."

Harry nodded and followed Ginny and Ron into the kitchen.

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**There you go. Bit longer than the last one. **

**Review please and it'll make me write faster for the next chater. **

**Abreana xx  
**


	5. Chapter 4

**Ok so three days instead of two. One extra day. Be thankfull its not One extra month :)**

**Disclaimer: I make no money from this. If it were mine i wouldn't be writing this.  
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Two days later Hermione found herself sitting on the chair in the corner of her room again. It was early morning, about six, no one else was awake in the house and wouldn't be for another hour or so. She had refused the dreamless sleep potion and had only slept for a few hours cushioned between Harry and Ron again. She now watched them sleep, spread out on the opposite sides of her large double bed. She watched Harry's face as he slept and a small smile crept onto her face as she saw how calm and relaxed he was. She had begun to realise that the only time he truly let his guard down was when he was sleeping.

Sitting in her chair for little over two hours Hermione had done a lot of thinking. Such as what she wanted to do if she survived the war. She found this especially hard to focus on as she could see no life ahead of her without this war. She realised she probably wasn't the only person thinking like this as so many children had grown up through the war. Some may have said they had grown up too quickly, matured beyond their years.

She had thought on how her parents death had affected her. She had realised that if she detached her self from the emotions she felt she could think on it, not easily, but easier than remembering the horror of their deaths. Even after only three days she had realised she needed to stop moping around and pick herself up so she could help Harry win this war, and she wasn't so sure that being a walking encyclopaedia would help that. Sure it had gotten them out of a few tight spots but it wasn't everything she could do. She wasn't the best at offensive spells or being able to dodge spells sent at her, and that wouldn't help at all if it came to blows.

She slowly realised that if she wanted to help she needed to physically train her body, be able to call up spells when she needed them and cast them at the same time. She couldn't ask somebody like Kingsley or Remus to help her, they would ask to many questions and to be honest she wasn't brave enough to ask Snape for help.

She needed someone outside the order to help her. Preferably a muggle to help her physically train, she could add in the spell work herself. She sometimes trained with the Aurors who stayed in the house so she wasn't unfit and she knew how to defend herself physically if she should drop her wand or be attacked from behind. A beginning she thought.

She got up and put on a jacket over her pyjama top and pulled on a pair of jeans, she pulled on her shoes silently and picked up her purse of muggle money. She crept silently out of her room and down the hall into the one Harry shared with Ron. She opened his suitcase and pulled out his invisibility cloak, closed it again and slid the case under his bed. She left the room closing the door silently behind her. She crept down the stairs missing the stairs that she knew creaked.

She was too busy looking behind her to make sure no one came out of the kitchen that she missed Sirius standing in front of her. Instead of seeing him she walked into him.

"And where do you think your going at this time Hermione" he asked when her head whipped round and registered who was there.

"Out. I need some air" she said.

"There's a back garden for that."

"Its too enclosed I need some space."

"Where?"

"I don't know yet." she continued when she saw the hesitation in his eyes. "I'll be back in half hour"

"twenty minutes" he bargained

"twenty five. Come on Sirius I'm a big girl. I know how to look after myself. I promise as soon as I get back I'll come and find you so you know I'm still alive."

He nodded his assent "Fine. Twenty five minutes and I'll meet you in the upstairs library. I'm guessing you don't want anyone else finding out"

"Thank you" she told him sincerely and crept to the front door and out into the cool night air. She put on Harry's cloak and disapparated with a crack. She landed in a small village. She looked up to the front door of one house and found a phone book still in its wrapper left outside.

"Muggles" she sighed.

She crept up to the door and picked up the phone book and carried it with her under the cloak. She found herself a phone box and took the cloak off.

"Great" she muttered to herself seeing a copy of the phone book in box. "The one time I take the precaution of there not being one and it's sitting right there."

She sighed and ripped the plastic wrappings of the book and let it fall to the floor with all the fag ends. She pulled out a few 20p coins and slid them into the coin slot of the machine. She flipped through the book until she found the section she was looking for.

Her eyes flicked across the pages quickly until she found an ad that looked promising.

She dialled the number on the ad and listened to it ring for a few then someone picked it up.

"Hello" the voice on the other end of the line was male.

"Hi. I saw you ad in the phone book and was just ringing up to enquire about it"

"Oh yeah." The voice perked up. "I hadn't honestly expected anybody to ring about it."

"Yeah?"

"Really. Not many people are interested in such things as learning self defence."

"oh well. You see me and a friend were out last month and we got cornered in an alley. We managed to get away but it made me realise that I really didn't know all I could about defending myself. And well I'd forgotten all about doing something about it until I saw your ad." she lied. Well it wasn't really a lie, Ginny and herself had got cornered in part of Diagon Alley by some death eaters last month. Ginny had sent of her patronus and they had been rescued by a team from the order. The death eaters didn't know what hit them.

"I can see how something like that would affect someone" he said. "When would you like to meet?"

'Well he got in there quickly' she thought "How about tomorrow at about seven ish" she said out loud.

"That's fine. I have my own private gym. We could meet there."

"Yeah that's fine. Will you want to take my details?"

She proceeded to give the man, Mr Adam Figg, fake details, she said her name was Samantha King and that she was twenty years old. She made a mental note to make a false ID when she got back. In return he gave her the address for the gym and tried to make small talk with her. She made her excuses and hung up. She checked her watch.

Five more minutes until Sirius would expect her back.

She stepped out of the phone box, leaving the phone book there. She walked down the road until she spotted a dark alley and slipped into it. She wrapped Harry's cloak around her and apparated to the square across the road from Grimauld place. She stepped up to the house as it appeared and slipped through the door, still wearing Harry's cloak she slipped into the upstairs library where Sirius awaited her.

When she swung of the cloak off she found Sirius wand in her face.

"Where did you first ever meet me?" he asked.

"That depends" she told him "it could be argued that I first met you when you wee dragging Ron away by his ankle, or that I first met you in the shrieking shack after you had dragged Ron away by his ankle"

"All right." he said. "No need to be smartarse"

"On the contrary there's every need to be a smartarse. We are in a war you know. One needs their wits about them. Also those security questions need ironing out, some of them are really to easy" she smiled up at him "I told you twenty five minutes. Did you really expect me to be late?"

He didn't grace her with an answer as he sat down in one of the armchairs. "Where did you go?" he asked.

"I told you earlier I needed some air." she sat down in the armchair next to his, her fingers playing with the frayed edges of the cloth covering it. "It was getting to stuffy in this place, I couldn't stand being pitied anymore." she was surprised at how easy it was to lie to him.

"I understand" he said placing his hand on hers, to stop her fraying his furniture or to give her comfort she didn't know.

She looked away feeling guilty at having to lie to him. She didn't want to show him her face in case he saw her guilt displayed there.

"I miss them" she whispered. He squeezed her hand in comfort.

"I miss my family too" he told her. "Not that they were much of one. My father died when I was young and then my brother died when I was in Azkaban. My mother not soon after."

"Sorry about destroying your mothers portrait the other day" she said sheepishly.

"Don't apologise I would have gotten rid of her earlier I just couldn't think of how too. Your means was effective. She wasn't much of a mother anyway. I was just a disappointment, being sorted into Gryffindor and what not. Spent most of my time round James', his parents thought of me more like a second son than their son's best friend."

Hermione laughed softly. "well my story's a bit different, being muggleborn. Mum and Dad started of proud at what I was, if not a bit scared of me and then I stopped talking to them I didn't want them to know how much danger I was in, I was afraid they'd take me away from Hogwarts. Then a letter a week became one letter a month to one letter a term. They still loved me, I was just living in a different world to them."

During talking to him her fingers had begun playing with the frayed edges again. "Everyone here is just like an extended family." she told him. "your like an uncle. Harry and Ron are like brothers."

"I thought Ron fancies you?"

"He does. But I don't feel the same way. Like I said he's more like a brother." she turned and smiled at him. "And talking of family, like the sneaky little sister I am I'm gonna go put Harry's invisibility cloak back before he wakes up."

"your older than Harry though"

"I know. But he's taller than me." she said and left the library to return Harry's cloak.

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**_REVIEW! PLEASE?_**

**_hope you liked it. Dont know how long it will be untill i next update not untill in the new year probably. _**

**_Abreana xx  
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